The Brain Blog

Or as they say, My Album is finally out! Hoorah!

I can’t think of any words to describe the joy-joy feelings after the news hit that my first ever Album "Aidil" is now in stores! Hoorah AGAIN! Just counting the days I would see the my little album rocketing to the No.1 Spot in the charts!!


Another Pre-Hoorah!!

Definitely this will be a hit, a sure-fire, billy-boy, bona-fide hit! in fact, I think  it may even have the word ‘hit’ physically all over - in every language known to man (i.e infinity languages).

Hoorah! Hoorah! and HOOOORAH!

I am sure many of you who have known me, would be in for a big surprise since I’ve been pretty much tight-lipped on this, releasing an album has been a brewing idea for sometime and I thought what more would be the right time to hatch it, if not, right now!

Guys and girls, ladies and gentlemen, kings and queens, gays and lesbians and those within the realm of the dead, I hereby unleash my very hit single "AIDIL into markets today. So get a copy of it while it lasts.

Last but not least, HOORAH!

* Sigh *

I am lost of words tonight. I am still buzzing my brain off on what exactly got transpired here. Worst, I can’t tell what went wrong. I did what I had to do, I was being straight to the point, no hidden agendas in the back, it was a straight road and I didn’t expect anything of what was lying ahead.

Right now, I’m just thinking what is to become of me, come Monday morning. I screwed my Quota, I screwed the client and definitely I screwed myself big time. Just in case to whoever is reading this gets in a daze, I’ve pulled out from the system how it all ended…and how I lied!

Have a Good Read People!

I’m just counting the days I’d see my grave.

Biddle@my.ibm.com
——————
4-01-08

Hi Aidil.
There’s a new account in the Sales roster and I would like you to handle this yourself. I believe with your exposure to the Team Blue program, you could nail this one down easily. Prove yourself that you have the skills and knowledge to be a good seller.

Below are his details I’ve pulled out from the CRM.

Client : Hooters’ Rooster
KDL    : John Pazuzu - CEO
E-Mail : pazuzu@hooters-rooster.com
CRA    : Purchasing A Windows-Based Server to replace obsolete machine.

Be Simple, direct and straight to the point. 

I am counting on you on this one, Aidil. =)

Good Luck.

Henry Biddle
Sales Manager IBM Malaysia
biddle@my.ibm.com

Aidil@my.ibm.com
——————
4-02-08

John.
Heard your looking for a windows-based server. We do have one. ITs called System X.
Thx.

Pazuzu@hooters-rooster.com
—————————
4-03-08

Hi Aidil,
Could you elaborate me on what does your system X do? what are the machine’s specification? I need to know how it would benefit me in all this.

Regards
John Pazuzu
CEO of Hooters’ Rooster.

Hooters’ Rooster - Your One Stop Hooting for all the Roosters!

Aidil@my.ibm.com
——————
4-04-08

John,
THe system X operates. It’s Windows-based. Lots of Benefits. Its all over the Net.
Thx.

Pazuzu@hooters-rooster.com
—————————
4-05-08

Hi Aidil,
Probably you could come by to my office and go through with me in detail on this System X of yours? I’m currently comparing your product against HP and DELL’s offer.

Regards
John Pazuzu
CEO of Hooters’ Rooster.

Hooters’ Rooster - Your One Stop Hooting for all the Roosters!

************************************************************************************************

And so I drove a lenghty 25 KM to Hooter’s Rooster, gave Pazuzu all that vile crap about System X in hoping for him to agree on the deal. The contract looked like this, as was told, short and sweet :
____________________________________________________________________

The Contract.

________________________________________________________________________

The Next day I logged onto my machine and found this :

Pazuzu@hooters-rooster.com
—————————
4-10-08

Hi Aidil,
I’ve finally come to my senses that I will NOT purchase your machine. I think DELL products are far more trustworthy than IBM’s at this moment. Probably a different company maybe interested with your deal. It was great knowing you Aidil.

Regards
John Pazuzu
CEO of Hooters’ Rooster.

Hooters’ Rooster - Your One Stop Hooting for all the Roosters!

Aidil@my.ibm.com
——————
4-11-08

John,
Please buy system X. I beg of you.
Thx.

Pazuzu@hooters-rooster.com
—————————
4-12-08

Aidil,
Sorry I’ve made up my mind. I have signed for DELL.

Regards
John Pazuzu
CEO of Hooters’ Rooster.

Hooters’ Rooster - Your One Stop Hooting for all the Roosters!

Aidil@my.ibm.com
——————
4-13-08

John, DELL, to the world, is a brutish fossil, symbolic of a decayed era gratefully forgotten. Look, DELL is just lassoing your ass man!….Listen, I am giving you not one of the best, but THE best. I am trying to make a living here. Don’t be such a pussy-whupped man! Just cough in some god damned money man….Damn! I’ll be god-damned…

Aidil@my.ibm.com
——————
4-14-08

John…are you there? John…..

Aidil@my.ibm.com
——————
4-15-08

Please John…Say something. Ok John I am sorry. How much do you want? I could give you 20% off the price. What do you say about that?

Aidil@my.ibm.com
——————
4-16-08

Oh John. Your acting like a robed-sissy man! Talk to me Goddamit! You want to know something John, your one pea-brained,dick-faced, ball breaking, duck kissing pain in the ass!!!!!

Biddle@my.ibm.com
——————
4-17-08

Hi Aidil.
How are you? How’s your relationship with John? I hope it’s getting better and better. I’ve informed my managers that your doing great with the sales thing. So I am looking to hearing some positive buzz from you with John. Update me will you. =)

Henry Biddle
Sales Manager IBM Malaysia
biddle@my.ibm.com

Aidil@my.ibm.com
——————
4-18-08

Hi Henry.
I am doing A-OK back here. John is great but apparently something happened yesterday. He got caught in a car accident at 14th Street right in the intersect. It was in the news. Something about a mega collision with a speeding truck. Body count was high too…..I do hope his alright though Henry. My blessings go out to him and his family….

POW : Drink Beer

Have you ever had this feeling of regret of something mankind invented? Have you ever thought of what if mankind didn’t create this, I would be this or things could have been better the way it is than trying to change it with technology? Or what about the things that would have worked well if technology had interfered?  While I settled down and laid a pretty good brainstorming session, I must say - and without blowing my own trumpet - I’ve come up with a little device which could help mankind and - womankind - greatly. All it needs is fine-tuning.

You see people coming in and go from meetings and instantly you know where they would head off. The loo. I’ve encountered a scenario, a very fresh scenario where a colleague just couldn’t hold it and had to delay the meeting for 10-20 minutes due to his untimely leakage and you could clearly see the agony of those impatiently waiting for his return.

The Solution : Aidil’s Super Techno Underpants

How it Works : Simply put it on and you’ve got Techno Underpants protecting your bladders.

Description : It acts like any other ordinary under pants but with its super cool gadgetry, you don’t need to tire yourself to the loo no more, you could do it at one single location whenever you want, wherever you are. Equipped with a full blown compressor that glues to your butt cheeks to avoid dripping so don’t worry about peeing. A fragrant pad is laid to rest to rid any unwanted aroma with a decaying agent that automatically decomposes droppings.It’s noise removal tool ensures silent operation is maintained during urination or bowel movements.

Other Scenario : A usual problem which happens at the movies. Imagine having the need to
release those toxic wastes out of your system without interrupting your
focus on the film, Aidil’s Super Techno Underpants is here to help!

Benefits : Cleaning your bowels has never been this easy, what more, if you could
do it when your driving or at the movies or in the meeting without the need to make a pit stop to the lavatory! Get AIDIL’S SUPER TECHNO-UNDERPANTS TODAY!

Prototype :

Yep the title speaks for itself. As my mind is now as crooked as a crowbar, and a job that requires a crooked head in a crooked place at a crooked firm, I allow you to feast your soon-to-be crooked minds about my top 10 favorite sounds in all of it’s crookedness epic.

1) "Nyeaaaaahhhhh" (the sound of my bedroom door opening)
2) "errrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr" (the sound of my bedroom light)
3) "wewe gu wewe itus vo ito kus kus la i tu moso alo ra hi to" (the music in my profile playing and no it’s not even japanese. It’s got some satanic rhyme to it, probably Hebrew)
4) "Prrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrttttt" (the long sound of air coming out from my butt)
5) "Sfih" (my head banging on the pillow)
6)"KeLAPANG!" (My head banging on the wall)
7) Oh here’s one "  …………………………… " (the sound of silence)
And Another "oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo" (that’s me singing the opera!)
9) "AIDIL!" (thats my mom calling me)
10) "Prrrrrrrrr" (my cat pampering in the corner).

Perhaps I could add in more stuff later, maybe the sound of my mouth crunching against the food, or the sound of my footsteps (at least everybody would eventually know if they hear this sound "pap pap pap pap paaaaaaap" they’d go "Now that’s Aidil Coming".) and publish them in a book and called it Aidil’s Book of Crooked Sounds.

Definitely a Best-sounder (more like Best-seller)

POW : The Torment from Prison

The entire week from the 18th-22nd was a week of relax, a food for thought, and a treatment that portrays all that is glory.  Free breakfast and tea time through out the course, but nothing stands out more than lunch despite it wasn’t even on the house. I wouldn’t jump into calling myself a wastrel but looking back at my finance report for that week and to compare it when I was a jailbird, it’s like looking at a damn ravine. While I was locked in the House of Remand, grieved by starvation and agonized by continuous isolation, the wastes that could even make a billygoat puke were my only necessities for survival. For a mere 4 bucks a day, I am tossed with a cold paratha, a tasteless gravy and water drained from the pipes down below. The walls that loom before me are heavily guarded by the forces whose actions bespeak a tyrannical despot who stops at nothing but to punish those who lurk behind bars. At times I thought rather than keeping me shackled from the light of freedom, it would be more humane to feed me to the bloody crows.

To be in the state of prisonhood, where food becomes the main scarcity, and comfort goes zero tolerance, and all in a sudden, you find yourself temporarily bailed, being placed in the middle of the one thing that you had been out of touch for so long, it feels being reborn.

Our interim bail from prisonhood was fully appreciated to the next level. From downing a couple of juicy McDonald burgers that costs 15 bucks on the first day, to chomping off a cod from Manhattan Fish Market while slurping off some macadamia ice cream off Baskin-Robbins, it was indeed a return to civilization. No more dozing off in our cell, or soliloquizing to overcome the persistent silence that’s been pestering  like cancer cells inside our heads or the looming walls that have concealed the very freedom that we once had. It was all freedom leaping in the air.

Recounting those happy moments, I almost got teary-eyed as I hoist my eyebrows to the time and realized that the light of freedom is coming to a close. I could hear the thundering of the ocean like a bitter lament and the roaring of the freedom doors closing as I await my fateful return back to the cells that have estranged me. The cells where I have seen beneath everything a layering cruelty has to hide.

For whatever cruelty lies, I shall be prepared to face the worse.

Behold the moments of liberty

_________________________________________________________________________

Our first day at Training. Feels like a college kid again.

_________________________________________________________________________

The air of freedom has restored our enthusiasm.

_________________________________________________________________________

Mr Cool instructor Inderjit Singh. Hope to see him back again.

_________________________________________________________________________

The Iverson Lab has us back to our roots.

_________________________________________________________________________

A touch of civilization can make one be as happy as a horse.

_________________________________________________________________________

Finally a good meal after having succumbed to the torments of prison.

_________________________________________________________________________

Awaiting the big fish! This baby costs 18 bucks per pax.

_________________________________________________________________________

The sound of the birds chirping in the midst afternoon, and the surroundings of mother nature are as warm as a mother’s love.

_________________________________________________________________________

Enjoying the last minute of a good feast as the light of freedom begins to dim and darkness shall once again prevail.

_________________________________________________________________________

The brutal torture chamber where one is forbid to speak about, has my dear friend haunted as she awaits her inevitable return to the house of Remand.

Gong Xi Fa Chai

 Eyes Wide Open?

It is consider a norm that when one sleeps, their eyelids are
shut, the mind spurs into silence and everything begins to fade away as they
are drifted into a dreamless sleep, only to awaken to the obscuring light of
the sun pouring its love onto their faces and the chirping of the birds in the
early morning. But have you ever wondered if there exists someone whose eyes
are never laid to rest, not even a spur of moment? Does such anomaly exist?

Today, there is one being who sleeps with his eyes wide
open. Across the South East region, in the land of fascinating sights , in
the heart where the 88-storey skyscraper looms in the city that never sleeps, a
25 year old hailing from Kuala Lumpur, Malaysia has been slumbering in the corner with his eyes wide open. Endorsed
by the World Guinness as "The Man that
Never Sleeps", Mohd Aidil Harith does his regular activities as how one
would go about, he is as healthy as a bear but in the night, his eyes never
seem to tire even when he is fast asleep. How does one tell? According to Dr. Mike Buganga, an ophthalmologist and a neuromuscular
specialist from the Harvard Medical School, "Tests have shown that when his eyes appear NOT to blink for at least a minute,
that is when he is fast asleep" says Buganga.

Buganga has ruled out any possibility of an
eye infection, or any form of muscular dystrophy syndrome – a symptom of facial
weakness. "He is as healthy as anybody else".

Acclaimed Author Michael Crichton best known for his work in "Jurassic Park", "Congo" and the controversial "Next", has bought the rights to write up a book based on
Aidil’s peculiar sleeping to etch the underlying beauty of this irregularity.
The book is currently titled  : "Eyes Wide Open". Crichton in a press conference had this to say “I’m 62 years old. I’ve had a good life. I’m
happy and I’m enjoying myself," he said. "I don’t need any of the flak that would come from doing a book like
this". Crichton continued "My view
of this is that this is truly God’s gift. There’s always something unique that
comes out of us, the "what" and "when" are just a matter of time before we can
discover it ourselves"

Crichton’s new book is penciled sometime in 2009.

Dr. Buganga on BBC News.

________________________________________________________________________

Acclaimed writer Michael Crichton Buys Rights For Aidil Book.

________________________________________________________________________

Yahoo News also has this reportage

________________________________________________________________________

and also included in Malaysia’s Premium Paper, The Star

As 2007 comes to a close, I couldn’t barely stand the sadness of yet another year going by. The untimely departure of 2007 has left my thought swiveled rather crookedly due to the extensive sorrow that have engulfed me on this most gloomy hour. Therefore, to pay my last dues to 2007, I shall begun composing a letter of farewell. You probably may encounter a slight awkwardness in the writing of the letter as a result of my depressing state and the intricacy of foregoing the passing of 2007 from this disturbing mind. If such is encountered, pardon me well.

A farewell letter to 2007 by Mohd Aidil.

                                                                                                                     Mohd Aidil Harith
                                                                                                                        IBM Plaza Malaysia

xxxxxx
Aidil Harith

I had hoped for a better start to my diary - perhaps a poem glorifying an act of diarying or a quote from a renowned diarist such as Shakespeare ("Wroteth another play today…") but today I am spitting out all of what had happened for the entire week in office. Whether it sounds entirely bad or good, I’ll leave such subjectivity to your judgments.

My  weekly "did" list in office
1) Played my Star Wars soundtrack CD while I whistle some sweet lullaby.
2) Printed out FAQs for my Playstation 3 game.
3) Exchange glances with the chick beside me for at least every 10 minutes or so.
4) Improved my peeling skills by peeling a potato within 10 minutes!
5) I crept out of the office to One Utama for Christmas goodies.
6) I’ve been a frequent visitor of One Utama more than anybody ever did per day. (Hey That’s a Record!)
7) I practice moving my mouse around the screen for every 5 minutes.
I grew interest with Baskin and Robbins Ice Cream. 7 bucks every day per take.
9) Separated 3 yolks from 3 whites from 3 eggs during breakfast.
10) I drew a face! Finally get to taste some art behind those IT wizardry.

POW : Universal Studios

Ever imagined what it would be liked to indulge one’s inner self with the beauty of a world entirely unique? As I down handfuls of fruits into my gut, oblivious to the taste, my head spun from every angle like a machine gun beat; to the amazement of the work from the greatest minds.

The Burj Al-Arab 7-star Hotel.

Built in uniqueness like a painterly novel, full of lovely Bonnardesque details, I was compelled to scour the web in hope of yielding something good in return but alas, Burj Al-Arab Hotel is NOT an IBM partner Hotel. The result itself felt like a twinge of pain as if someone had stuck a needle right through the heart. Sometimes it be at best to not fiddle with the ultimate unknowability so says the little voice in my head.

The 1 Million dollar question would be :  Will it ever be an IBM partner Hotel?

If my analysis does not defy me, I would say NOT within this lifetime, particularly based on this 2 reasons :

1) Money.  Yeah I’ve heard numerous times. Even with IBM’s 91.4 Billion profit every year, I wouldn’t have the slightest inkling if they are willing to cough a couple of them greens to them blues. Too damn blue to be true. Damn blue.

2) The Blues. Imagine if it ever become an IBM business partner, I am pretty darn sure, no wait. I am damn sure everybody who’s anybody would sail off to the former pirate coast just to rid themselves from their circle of somberness for a presidential suite. Darn!

And so folks, those of you who’d be pondering far and beyond, well…keep pondering. This baby won’t be out of the box for a long long time, well, at least the pictures would do some justice eh?

Behold the Unique of uniqueness.

The World’s Tallest Atrium. Looks totally other-worldly for I am sold. Shades of the belly of a caterpillar….

—————————————————————————————————–

The World’s most extraordinary Hotel Lobby. It makes One World Hotel Lobby a bigger pussy.

—————————————————————————————————–

Exclusively crafted from the world’s finest.

——————————————————————————————————

The restaurants itself costs more than what you can bargain. Truly fits like a king.

—————————————————————————————————–

This baby costs about USD28000 per night. Sweet eh?  What is there to compare with USD 91.4 Billion dollar Profit? It makes 28000 like purchasing a box of chocolate.

——————————————————————————————————

Take a look at what these guests have to say. Unique.

——————————————————————————————————

The tennis court out of a heli-pad design. Imagine if the ball flies off bound? There’s only 1 solution.

—————————————————————————————————–

Word of caution. Check your wallet before you check-in. Don’t be like this dude.

—————————————————————————————————–

Some day…..some day……

POW : Road Kill

Like Hell hath no fury.

Deadlines, deadlines, deadlines. Thats what you get when your succumbed by the real world as contrast to the life I had once, as a student. But there’s a catch. The dollar bills. As the old saying goes, nothing is as forthcoming as the greens that grow.

As the festive Eid descends itself, the pressure of work has never been this compelling. Not even the head banging can dispel this hellacious demon that has somehow emerged from the raising heat. This so-called apocalypse has been a tormenting ordeal, casting a dark presence that even a mother can’t love.

Those are the griefs of meeting a deadline.

The feeling of pain and suffering maybe beyond words to imagine but by illustrate, it shows how deadlines can be as dangerous as the eternal flames of damnation. (Shit I am over exaggerating hahahaha)

Behold the truth that have shackled me to these wounds of sorrow.

For all I know, I am no longer sane.